Layers of acceptance

We all have gone through it. When we put that relaxer in our hair, we choose to not accept our natural nappiness. We thought we were not going to be Beautiful without our hair straight. Or we didn't get to choose our mothers, aunts made the decision for us. Or we thought it was easier to manage our hair with a relaxer. (There is nothing wrong with that. I want you to know I am not a relaxer basher!! If you are happy with your relaxed hair then I am happy with you:) )

Then we decide that we wanted our hair to be natural or because of a bad hair experience via relaxed burned, bad hair dying experience what ever the reason maybe.

But we then face the layers of acceptance. Some still lay under the layer of the unknown, the layer of fear, the layer of concern, the layer of acceptance of ourselves. The layer of our natural beauty!

So we transition

I know I did because I feared how I would look. I feared I would not be beautiful, I feared my husband would not think I was beautiful, I feared that my hair would never grow long that it would always be short. I feared that I would have some nappy coily hair, I feared the unknown.

My youngest transition with me because she was not ready to wear her hair curly. She wanted it flat ironed all the time. Her hair was past her shoulders about top of scapula. Her fear was of having to cut her hair and what her piers might think of her with short hair. She was 10 when she decided to go natural via transition.

There are others like my oldest daughter who made the decision and shaved it like that, but then realize; Wow I look different with a low fade and decide to wear wigs till it grows in some. Her fear was what would her piers think of her and that people would think she was a boy. Mind you she was 15 when she did this and that she is 6 feet tall!

We have so many fears, unknowns, and what ifs.

But once I washed my hair after transitioning for nine months and saw those beautiful coils, the what ifs, the unknowns, the fear seemed quieter that day and I pull my scissors out and cut my relaxer off.

I felt beautiful, I felt free, I felt happy and I felt confident in myself!

Now being almost 3 years natural I have hairstyles I'm still afraid to try. I Bantu knotted my hair early one morning by mid day, I had earns I needed to run and was afraid to go out with them because of my same fears as when I was first transitioning. Because of those layers of acceptance. But then I realized that I could go out with a scarf on and look ghetto or I could put my face on and walk out with my head held high. And that is what I did and to my surprise 3 brothers flirted with me and I got multiple compliments on my hair.

There are still those layers of acceptance that I'm still battling with. But day by day I free myself from a layer and that is all it takes!!!
:)

You could be washing your hair Wrong!!!

 

What Mama???  What in the world are you talking about

Well I can tell from the Shocked look on your face LOL that I will have to go into some detail about this title here.


Lets think back to those days of relaxed hair or even beginning of Transitioning.  We would always wash our hair like this,........................................

Now fast forward to mid transition or natural and you will realize one thing for certain.  That this is no longer going to work.  Why well if you notice our hair is a lot more kinky and coily.  If I even think about scrubbing my hair in all kinds of ways when washing it I am going to be.............

Crying when its time to detangle my hair.  When we where relaxed or early transitioning our hair was a lot straighter and this way of washing was fine but now, Now we have to adjust to our new hair and prep it for the washing, conditioning and detangling processes.

There are 2 ways we can do this... one is to:

•  Detangle the hair before we even let the water touch it.  How You could do a HOT OIL treatment to your hair or even  pre poo your hair before you Wash it.(using either oil, condtioner or both and applying in your hair with either twist or braids) 

• You could also avoid the prep work and just Braid or Twist your hair and go straight to the shower. This helps with breakage because your hair is locked into braids or twist it prevents alot of manipulation to your hair and helps to protect your hair from breakage. It depends on what is comfortable to you and your hair.

For me I usually do Coconut oil and twist my hair in JUMBO two strand twist then jump in shower right after the last twist is done and wash my hair. I  unravel each twist and wash each section massaging my roots to the tip .  I then rinse out the shampoo then I apply Deep Conditioner to my hair and detangling my hair while apply DC to each section re twisting my hair  wait 15-30 minutes before rinsing out. I then  style& moisture my hair.

My Daughter Rere has tight coily hair and to make matters worse she has a head full of hair and is tender headed to boot.  In order for us to smile,love and hug each other daily :)

 I usually put tons of Coconut oil in her hair and then add Hello Hydration Conditioner in her hair and part and braid her hair into 8 Braids.  I let it sit for about 30 minutes to ensure her hair is good and soft.

Then we Co wash her hair with braids still intact and she washes the roots of her hair and uses the downward motion on each braid to ensure that the braid hair is washed as well. After we are done I ACV (apple cider vinegar rinse)  her hair not for porous reasons but to help detangle that hair. (ACV has so many awesome benefits!!!)

This is a great example of how simple the braid can be nothing overly crazy and technical.  You want acess to the roots of hair.

It may take a longer time to wash your hair but when you start to notice less breakage because you arent fighting your hair.  And the more you do it the quicker you Get!

Pictures are not mine but copied them from Google.  :)

Hope this helps someone.  After learning the hard way with my daughter these are ways I adjusted our routine and We find it works best for our Peace of Mind and her Tender Scalp!!!!

Porosity Hair and How to Cure that Bad Boy!!!!

High Porosity :Cuticles in hair shaft are raised due to either being born and naturally having High porosity hair or you can achieve High porosity hair by chemical process such as relaxer or hair dyes or heat damage.  Basically you have taking your hair from either Low or Med porosity and have damaged your natural state of hair and are in need of Protein for strengthening or trimming the damaged hair.




 

Low Porosity: is when the cuticles are closed and moisture is hard to get in to the hair shaft. Your cuticles are tight and it takes Hot DC, washing in above Luke warm water to open your cuticle allowing moisture to go into your hair shaft.




Normal Porosity: when the cuticles to your hair shaft are slightly open and partial closed  Basically they are just Right!!  Moisture goes into your hair shaft and does not come out. 

Now that we got that, I know your like OK Mama what does that got to do with me right

How to Tell if It's Hair Breakage or Just Shedding

Oh I see my Bulb..Thank you its just Shedding!!!

Well moisture, trimming ends and putting hair in protective styles that are low manipulative will help stop breakage.

Protective styling is also great for allowing your hair to grow.  The less we put our hands in our hair the more of a break you are giving your hair and allowing it to grow.

Now when it comes to shedding when you  unravel your protective style there may be lots of hair shedding.

DONT FREAK OUT.......This is expected to happen.   WHY well think about it we loose 50-100 sheds a day.  Now if you have a protective style and hold it for 2 weeks, 3 weeks thats 700 sheds for 2 weeks or 1050 sheds for 3 weeks.  So that big ball you get when you unravel your hair.  Its ok that is just normal.


Now a quick note how to determine breakage from shedding is important  but quick and easy.

Take a Black paper, black clothe anything  and you are going to look for the bud on the end of the hair.  Because it is slightly white but transparent it is easier to find on a black background.

 

If you find the Bulb on the end of the hair like the above diagram congrats its just shedding which again is natural and will occur.

But if you find split ends, broken pieces of hair then its breakage and the amount of breakage is important.  It will let you know if hey I need a trim or OH NO THERE IS SOMETHING VERY SERIOUS GOING ON HERE.

I would recommend you read my following blog post about Hair breakage. If the Matter is just too serious and you alone are unable to fix the issue I recommend you find a well educated Natural hair stylist to help you find a regimen that will put you back on the path of a Healthy hair journey.

Hair Breakage break down

Ok so lets talk Hair Breakage.

There are 3 Zones of Hair Breakage

Zone 1 aka Green Zone: Healthy hair (Balanced)

Breakage usually occurs during intense styling episodes.

5 or less on a non wash day and 10 or less broken hairs on a wash day

Zone 2 aka Yellow Zone: Moderate Breakage 

This is the intermediate stage between healthy, unbroken and severe damage. 
 Zone 2 occurs usually occurs do to neglected or misdiagnosed hair ( meaning if you have over protein your hair or vs have a moisture overload)

less than 10 to 15 breakage occur on a non wash day and less than 15 to 20 breakage on a wash day

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

Zone 3 aka Red Zone:  Severe Breakage

Damage has gone unresolved in previous stages, or Chemical treatments such as Permanent Color or relaxing hair can cause a Zone 1 to become a Zone 3 almost overnight.

More than 10-15 breakage occur on a non wash day... Hair is all over sink, back of shirt etc.
More than 15-20 breakage on a wash day.

Ultimately there will be some cutting required to usher the balance back to healthy in Zone 3.

Which Zone are YOU???????

All my information was obtained By "The Science of Black Hair"

Brought that Kinky Back ...YEP

I brought My sexy back!!

Im sure my hubby loved my straight hair but child it was so time to bring my kinky back!!! I missed my curls!!!

I washed and deep conditioned my hair used Herbal essence Hello Hydration (LOVE IT) Then I just separated and flat two strand twisted my hair!  I used my leave in conditioner Shea butter cantu and olive oil to seal that moisture in!!

Keeping Moisture

Okay Natural beauties and Gents, we all know that moisture is KEY for our Curls and coils! Water as you know, that High Quality H2O (lol in my best Waterboy voice) is our best source of moisture.  Now to say additional products such as leave in conditioners or aloe vera are just as good.  But if you would simple add water to your hair before going to bed, in the morning your hair will be refreshed and moisturized having set all night just enjoying that H2O ( of course under and bonnet or scarf) . This method is best know as the Green house effect.  



Now to seal that moisture in so it stays put and doesn't leave too quickly you are going to want to seal that moisture in and to do that we use oils.

Best oils are:
Jojoba oil
Coconut oil
Olive oil
 Argan oil

Why because these oil are small enough to go into the shaft of the hair to seal inside the hair but also seal the outside and protect your hair shaft.  Sebum the oil that our scalp naturally produces Jojoba oil is: non greasy; moisturizing hair oil. This oil is closest to your natural hair oil, sebum that is produced by the sebaceous gland.


Another option would be the Bagging Method.  This will Intel you using just leave in or condtioner on your hair at night and covering your hair with a plastic bag or cap  or Just bagging your ends of your hair if you are noticing slipt ends or dry ends.and then covering the plastic cap or bag with a scarf. 

 Bagging Method on Just the ends of 

your hair

Bagging Method on Your entire Head

Trying for a Healthy me .....weight loss

So I have been doing Weight watchers now for about one year.....I have lost a total of 17.2lbs.  Its so low because all I was doing was learning to change my eating habits and not working out faithfully.  Now I did go walking here and there but not at a rate to help me lose weight.

So I decided to throw my weight number out here and make myself accountable via this blog.  So you all can make me accountable and say....girl where is that weight update lol.

I am also going to take a pic tonight and upload it.  Now I will be nice and not just wear a sports bra....ewww who needs to see my rolls :O.

Im want to state I am not doing this too fit into a size 0 or look good to other people...NO NO NO and I am most certainly not doing this to be accepted as perfect fit in the worlds eyes.  We and I do mean we as in even Super Models are not perfect!!  We are imperfect aka Normal.  I am doing this because I need to, I want to and I must in order to live longer, enjoy your life with my better half and to see my children future.

My family on my mothers side has heart problems. I'm talking in the past 10 years I have lost 4 cousins under of the age of 40 one be 24 years old whom have died because of congestive heart failure..aka the heart attack.  I fear if I continue living my life as such this will be my demise.  And lords will I can stop this with walking, aerobics, kinect (lol don't doubt dance central or zumba LOL).

SO here we go.
2013. Jan 2
Weighted in @........266.8lbs Im 5'10...............................eeewwww  uuugghhh I cant believe I just typed that.  I so want to delete this so Im signing off while I still have the nerve to post this.